Who do you think you are? (pgs 197-243)

Summary

Alyse's mom didn't die in six weeks as the doctor predicted, but she survived another year and a half. When her mother passed away and they had her funeral, Alyse was trying to explain to her daughter who was three at the time that she would not be hearing from grandma anymore. Alyse was having a hard time coping with her mother's death because she realized that she didn't want her mother to die, and she even called her house as if expecting her to answer. When Alyse's daughter was fifteen years old, her friend's father passed away. Alyse's daughter is telling her what happened and whenever Alyse says something to comfort her, she just tells Alyse that she doesn't know about death or she wouldn't understand, which Alyse finds strange because both of her parents died. Alyse feels distance between her and her daughter, so she tries to bond with her by opening what was in a box that her mother gave her before she died. When they open it, they find all these letters that Alyse's father wrote to her mother. In it Alyse notices something different than what she witnessed living in her parent's house...her father actually loved her mother. Her and her daughter read all the letters together, looked at photos of them when they were younger, and Alyse was shocked when she saw letters that she wrote to her mom stored in that box. She realized that her mother actually cared about her, and she felt regret for all the trouble she caused her in the past. She was proud to say that she was her mother's daughter.

Quote
"May you live to be 100 years. May I live to be a 100 years, less one day, so that I may never know you passed away." (Myers, 239).

Reaction
This quote was in one of the letters Alyse's father wrote to her mother. I thought it was very sweet and touching. It was a cute poetic way of saying that he wants them to live a long time, but as long as he's alive, he doesn't want to live a day without her. I know if a guy said that to me I would feel special. I was shocked when I read this quote because as much as Alyse's parents used to argue, its hard to think that when they were younger they were crazy in love like this. Another thing I found interesting about this quote is that Alyse said he got part of his wish. He died before she did, which was what he wanted, but neither of them lived to be 100 years old.

Who do you think you are? (pgs 149-196)

Summary
When Alyse moved out of her mother's apartment, their relationship changed for the better. When they talked to each other on the phone they had pleasant conversations with each other that didn't end in an argument. However, when they talked about her mom coming to her apartment in Manhattan, there was some tension at the end of the phone call because Alyse told her mom that she is not allowed to smoke in her apartment. Her mom didn't come the day she was supposed to, and in fact, she never got to see Alyse's apartment. They didn't talk until a few months later, around Alyse's birthday, when Alyse's mom asked her if they could have lunch together, and when they met her mom gave Alyse some diamond earrings. Unfortunately, later that night when Alyse was on her way home someone took her purse which contained the earrings. She called the police and then told her mom about it, but after that they never spoke about the earrings again. As time goes by Alyse finds interest in this one man in her college course, and they start dating. Alyse brings him by to her mother's house from time to time, and they get along very well. Her mom is thrilled when Alyse tells her that they are engaged. Alyse's mom says that she wants to walk her down the aisle since her father isn't alive to do it, but Alyse says no and her mom is very disappointed. On the day of her wedding her mom shows up right before the wedding starts, and doesn't seem happy for her. Later on though, Alyse and her mother still have a good relationship. Two years after Alyse gets married she has a daughter, and Alyse promises herself that she would be a better mother than her own mother was before she moved out. Two years later Alyse got a phone call from her mom saying that she went to the emergency room because she had a lump in her throat and was having a hard time swallowing. The doctor told her that if she wanted to know the test results to call, but Alyse's mom didn't want to know them. So when Alyse called the doctor herself he told her that she had lung cancer which was caused from cigarettes, and she only had six weeks to live. Alyse didn't tell her mother this, but she found out the next day when she went to the doctor, and he told her she would need chemo right away. As the days went by Alyse's mom didn't wash or comb her hair because she was afraid that it would fall out. But one day Alyse told her mom that she needs to wash it and maybe she would be lucky and it wouldn't fall out. But when Alyse's mom came out the bathroom, her towel was over her head and she went to her room. Alyse walked into the bathroom and saw huge chunks of her mother's hair in the sink. They never talked about her hair after that.
Quote
"I didn't look at her as my husband and I walked down the aisle together, out in the back lawn, under the tent. But after the rabbi announced we were married and everyone clapped, I saw she was the only one who didn't." (Myers, 75).

Reaction
In this quote Alyse was talking about her mother. I felt sorry for Alyse's mom because I could tell that it would've meant a lot to her if she walked Alyse down the aisle. But since Alyse didn't want that her mother wasn't really as happy on that day as any other mother would be for their child. Her mom probably felt that walking her down the aisle was the least she could do for her, and Alyse took that away. I'm not saying that Alyse is a bad person and her wedding shouldn't go the way she wants it to, but I think she should've made the sacrifice for her mother's happiness. But I also wanted to know why her mother couldn't have at least clapped along with everyone else. She could've at least did it so Alyse wouldn't feel bad on her wedding day. So in this case I felt sorry for the both of them. But this still didn't distance their relationship from each other. After her wedding day, their relationship grew closer and closer.

Who do you think you are? (pgs 101-145)

Summary
Alyse, her mom, and her two sisters attended a bar mitzvah that her father's family were hosting. Alyse and her sisters had a wonderful time, but when the time came for them to get home Alyse's mom had to figure out who she was going to get a ride with because she couldn't drive. They eventually took a cab, and Alyse's mom misplaced her keys, and they were waiting outside of their apartment until three in the morning. It was at this night that Alyse made a promise to herself that she would never rely on anyone else like her mother. However, even though Alyse doesn't want to be like her mom, she still wants to have a close relationship with her. She tries to accomplish this by giving her mom details about what happened to her in school or who her crush is or the mean things people said to her. But rather than give her good advice or console her, her mom just uses those secrets against. Whenever Alyse was being a pain to her, she would say that her attitude is why people say mean things to her. So despite her efforts, their relationship didn't improve. On the contrary, their relationship worsened to the point where they couldn't tolerate each other. One day Alyse came home from her friend's birthday party and her mother was upset because she didn't clean up before she left. Her mother pulled her by the hair and started yelling at her. Alyse let her rage build up inside of her and she pulled out a knife, pointed it towards her mother, and told her that she would kill her. Her mother was shocked and just walked away, later on returning to Alyse in her bedroom telling her that she better pack her things and leave the apartment in fifteen minutes and that if she didn't leave she would call the police. That night Alyse left and spent the night at a neighbor's house and returned to her house the next morning. Over time it became a habit for Alyse and her mom to get into a big argument, and Alyse was supposed to leave the house. Alyse decided that as soon as she could move out of her mother's house that she would. In the fall when she started college, she had two jobs after classes that she loved and kept to save up for an apartment. When she had enough, she finally got an apartment in Manhattan like she wanted.

Quote
"My grandfather, who always recued me after the fights with his daughter when he was alive, was helping me again by giving me a way to escape-even in death." (Myers, 145)

Reaction
I found this quote was a very powerful way of her concluding one of the chapters. After her father dies she talks about how she called her grandfather whenever her and her mom got into a fight. However, Alyse eventually lost him when he died. But I like how the author said that even though her grandfather is dead he's still helping her. She says this because when he died he left her a car that she used to get to her classes, her jobs, and often times get away from her mother. So her grandfather still provided her an escape from the wrath of her mother.

Who do you think you are? (pgs 54-99)

Summary
Alyse's father is sick. Alyse accidentally walks on her father while he is using the bathroom and finds something red sticking out of his stomach. Her father yells and tells her to get out of the bathroom, and she asks her mom what happened to her dad. Her mom explains to her that her father had surgery and that he has to use the bathroom in a bag. Her father is constantly going in and out of the hospital because he is so sick, and despite how ill he is, Alyse's mom is still yelling at him. She kept on talking about his "girlfriend", and whenever he asked her to do something she said that his "girlfriend" could do it for him. Alyse finally realizes who this woman is when she goes to one of her father's doctor appointments and meets the nurse that takes care of him. One day Alyse comes home from school and her sisters tell her that their father died, and she didn't believe it until she saw everyone gathered around his bed, and she started crying. Alyse and her family went to his funeral except her sisters because her mom said that they were too young to understand what was going on. On the day of his funeral, Alyse's mom gives her her father's favorite necklace and says that he would've wanted her to have it. So she wears it that day, but after the funeral she puts it in her drawer and says that she never wore it again. Alyse's mom got a job and now the kids were going to be home alone more often. Alyse is told not to use the stove while her mom isn't home. However, she was hungry and really wanted a hamburger so instead of using the stove she uses the toaster, which eventually starts a minor fire. Alyse poors water on the toaster and unplugs it. When her mother gets home at first she is mad because she sees the toaster has been messed up. But then she asks Alyse how she knew to unplug it, and Alyse just said that she simply knew. Alyse's mom says that she's a smart girl for that. This was a significant moment because this was the first compliment Alyse can recall her mom giving her.

Quote
"When she wasn't around, I would go through my father's closet and his drawers and touch his clothes and remember what he looked like when he wore them. They still smelled just like him."(Myers, 86)

Reaction
This is part of her grieving process. You can tell that she misses her father just by going through his clothes, smelling them, and remembering how he looked when he wore them. It made me feel so sad for her because you can tell that she really misses her father. She even goes on further to say that she would write in the red journal he gave her and write about how much she missed him. She also said that she would go through his clothes when her mother was NOT around, and I can't help but think that her mom would get mad if she saw her going through his clothes. I like how the author says she would touch his clothes and remember what he looked like in them. Its as if when she touches the clothes all these memories of her dad wearing them suddenly come to mind. When she smells them, they still smell just like him, as if he's still alive to her. After this quote she says that she would also write in her red diary about why she hated her mom, and one of these reasons is because she got rid of all of her father's clothes. Its sad that her mother took away what seemed to be Alyse's favorite connection left to her father. She feels so lonely now because her father was her only close companion, and now she feels like she has no one else to turn to.

Who do you think you are? (pgs 11-53)

Summary
The main character, Alyse, describes how her family life was during her childhood. She lives with her parents and her two younger sisters. Alyse's childhood has not been an easy one. For starters, her parents are constantly arguing and its usually because her father has been gone for a long period of time and he didn't call and tell them where he was. If its not about that, its about their poor financial situation. This troubles Alyse because not only does she want peace in her household, but she loves her father so much and she hates when her mom abuses him verbally and calls him horrible names. Alyse wonders how two people could fall in love and have children, but somehow seem to hate each other. Also, Alyse gets discouraged at times because she doesn't know if her mother likes her. Her mother never tells her that she loves her and she is always yelling at her. Alyse's parents both deal with stress by smoking cigarettes, and her mom smokes more vigorously than her dad. This habit bothers Alyse, but of course because she's the child so there's nothing she can do about that. One night Alyse and her family go out to eat for chinese food. While they are out there is a black out. During this black out Alyse's father stepped out of the restaurant and they have no idea where he is. When they get back home, all night her mom is sitting by the window smoking one cigarette after the other, until Alyse's father finally arrives home the next morning. Alyse's mother as usual is yelling at him asking him where he's been and why he didn't call them to tell him where he went. She says that he doesn't care about them at all because if he did he would be home or at least tell his family where he is when he's gone for a long period of time.

Quote
""Don't you care about us?" she repeated. But this time she was whispering. It was almost as if she was talking to herself. I started to wonder if she was right. Didn't he care about us?" (Myers, 51)

Reaction
Despite how often Alyse's mom mistreats her father, I can feel the pain in her voice when she asks him if he cares about them. Alyse's mom puts on this facade as if she doesn't care about him, but in this quote I see her true feelings. I can tell that it bothered her and that she was worried about him to the point where she couldn't sleep because before this quote the author said that when he got home she was wearing the same clothes that she was wearing the night before. Therefore, she's probably wearing the same clothes because she didn't go to bed that night. Also, when Alyse's mom asks her husband that question, it begins to change the way Alyse feels, or at least gives her some doubt as well. She starts to wonder if her mom was right and if he really does care about his family. Overall this links to the big picture because Alyse talks about how much she loves her father because he shows a lot of love for her. However, if Alyse doesn't feel that he cares about them, then her feelings for her father will change and their bond will weaken. This will change the rest of the story because Alyse always looked forward to seeing her father when he came home and she loved spending time with him and talking to him. On the other hand, if Alyse doesn't feel that closeness with him anymore, she will have no one else to turn to because her father is her only confidant.